Sunny Sal and the Stalking Salesman


Sunny Sal and the Stalking Salesman

 

As I stood in a crowd of beige short wearing tourists armed with floppy hanging cameras, floppy hanging hats, and floppy hanging stomachs, I presumed to take a detour from the heat driven mass gathering towards Santa Maria’s central square.

                As I headed in the direction of a street appealing in its appetising emptiness, I was confronted with words that stunted my excitement for boyish misdemeanour.

                ‘I’m sorry sir, but you can’t go down there,’ the tour guide had said.

               She also said ‘you can’t go down there...there...or there either,’ pointing diligently each time. I found my mouth agog wondering if standing upon the spot I was currently occupying would be against the regulations of navigability too. She then continued, greeting the sweat glinting group in that megaphone tone all tour operator guides seem to employ; ‘and if I was you,’ her face now glaring directly at me,’ I wouldn’t wonder too far from the main square.’

                What a marvellous place, I thought inquisitively.

                The heat was blistering down on Cape Verde’s sunny island of Sal. Choppy winds swept in off the Sahara desert, whipping between the square’s country-sheriff-style buildings and sparse mounts of planted pine trees.

                The land on Sal was, in a word, desolate. I had seen things greener parts of the world before, for sure. The day prior to this, along with my partner, we had been on a four by four off-road trip, taking clusters of sand filled air into my lungs and coughing up an entire sand dune when arriving back to the hotel. The barren landscape of Sal seemed to veer off for as far as the dusty horizon in every direction.

                The islands of Cape Verde are a plush blend of African, Portuguese and Brazilian cultures, and as customary welcomes go, it was as alienating an experience as I have witnessed upon my travels. I was expecting something that resembled a bit of a carnival atmosphere, with combinations of rich flavoursome flair and native charismatic pulses flowing through the veins of the people.

                Within the main square I stood, in my spot of unsure geographical illegalness, I was surrounded with a population of shady characters providing support to nearby buildings, leering against the wooden poles like protagonists from a Jon Wayne Western.

                The populated shops were selling all kinds of unaccustomed delicacies; German pastries, Italian ice cream, and Guinness. It was like a Madame Tussauds of European culture. I wasn’t sure, upon glancing from my small spot of typographical perspective, what was actually local to Cape Verde, or indeed to the island of Sal. I had heard about a stew-pot of some sorts, which was quite popular, apparently, but I couldn’t see one being sold anywhere.

                If there’s one thing that culturally alienates tourists form feeling a sense of local pleasure, it’s providing something that they never expected to find with the expectation that this is what they indeed want and expect. But, being frank, when I come to an island just 400 miles off the Senegalese coast, I don’t expect to find Frankfurters. If I wanted a sausage of this description, I would be standing in Germany. Or at very least, a reasonable gay bar.

                Sal, for its relatively new place upon the tourism spectrum, seemed to be heading in the direction of misguided provisions. At very least, it was having an identity crisis of some magnitude. When the driver of the 4x4 was bumping over the sand dunes across the rocky desert at sixty mph, my head making indents in the roof as we went, he tried telling me that this little island of 83 square miles was going to get a brand new world championship size golf course – which I would imagine would cover over half of the island. At least, in this development, I supposed it would add a little greenness to the island. This wasn’t all though, the guide of the tour also said many large chain hotels are investing into the island, and it will soon have a Hilton and a developed road network.

                And as I moved off my spot of potential sturdiness, I reflected on just what a shame that will be.

                Sal, I should note, has all kinds of wonders, and although as a small island of no particular relevance to the world, and appears quite barren and is in the process of being infested with European culture, at the point of me standing there it held enough of its own culture and natural insight to intrigue me.

                As the island is so concise and small, you can see the full island in a day, and upon the 4x4 trip, a cluster of curious tourists and myself were taken to see a natural phenomenon, so to speak, known locally as ‘The Blue Eye’. In a crevice somewhere near to the coastline, there, inside a deep filled hole, approximately the size of the centre circle on a football field, this blue crystalline textured image reflects up from the water, in the shape of an eye. It sparkled in ribbons of reflective pulses, flashing glints and sprinkles of white and a colour of blue indescribable in shade if you were to lay it upon a Dulux wall chart. It was, to be sure, one of the most wonderful things I have ever seen.

                This little spec belonging to a country made up of ten different islands, had all kinds of quirky and insightful intrigues. And, although being warned of my navigational directives, I did feel quite safe; I just bore in mind not to go ‘down there, over there, and definitely not down there’. So in a rush of excitement, we decided to explore a little. The square was quite pleasant really, and as we headed towards the shore, glaring out in both directions there spanned a beach of enormous distance, so large that it just curved around the coast for miles at either side of a wooden jetty that was standing directly in front of me.

                That was where we headed to next.

As we made our way there we stopped to get an ice-cream. It was here, sitting down, that a man approached us and asked if we wanted to buy anything from a sparse supply of undeniably shoddy accessories. At first, being polite I said ‘no thanks, not at the minute’.

                He prompted again and said ‘I have a warehouse where we have much more; it is my mother’s stall. You should come and see, my friend.’

                He had all kinds of commercial accessories hanging from both of his arms and neck; watches, sunglasses, chain necklaces. He looked like a walking H.Samuel’s.

                I looked at him another time, saying ‘no, we’re alright thank you,’ and licked my lips around a mango and coconut dribble of ice-cream that was hanging off the plastic spoon.

                As we ventured down the jetty, I was surprised by its size. It was inundated with various stalls and proprietors selling freshly caught fish, as small children ran around in-between peoples feet, the tourists on looked curiously with their floppy cameras hanging on their floppy stomachs, and at the end of the jetty, I noted that the catch of the day was been brought in.

                We walked down towards the end, bearing an indigestible afternoon heat, and taking in views of the surrounding vast sandy beach ploughing off in either direction, until merging into a mixture of clear blue water and fresh white grains.

                It was standing her upon this spot, that our salesman counterpart approached us again.

                ‘Will you come to the stall now, my friend? The warehouse is just around the corner, yes, not very far. Please come.’

                All at once he had had a conversation of multi-gesturing answers that all seemed to direct in the favour of us following a stranger into an underground warehouse that in no uncertain terms probably belonged to one of those streets I was warned of not venturing down. So, all things considered, I said no thank you as politely as I could and we continued to walk down the jetty.

                A large woman bearing a heedful of playful braids held out a flying fish by its ‘wings’ – that’s all I can think to describe them as, really, as it wriggled in her hands. She was a lady of sizeable quantity and was sat down on an upside down bucket (stronger than they appear, apparently), and she had a black bandana wrapped around her head which kept her floating hair off her face as she smiled and posed for a picture.

                Men wondered around everywhere, looking at each other’s catches, selling freshly caught fish to the other locals, and displaying a fine explosion of fish innards, as they flopped out over the wooden planks as they gutted them.

                Santa Maria’s beach was fluttered with a few sunbathers, but apart from that, you could see how tourism had yet to really explode on the island. It was the beginning of June; about thirty degree’s with a sure breeze and as exotic destinations go, it is by no means a vastly expensive one. It is said it will be the ‘New Canary Islands’. I hope now, as I write this, that in some escape from madness back to reality, that someone doesn’t let that happen. But I fear that unfortunately, it may already be too late.

                We began to walk back down the wooden jetty towards the square again, when we saw the salesman who was now huddled with a few of his colleagues. We tried to avoid his gaze by appearing occupied, but he of course saw us, and then pointed in our direction and made his way to come over.

                ‘Oh goodness’, I thought. ‘And I’m wearing red shorts so can’t even blend into the crowd of beigeness’. Plus I’m white so that was a little bit of a giveaway too. I said to my partner that we should make haste towards the beach ‘maybe we can lose him in the twenty seven miles of vast empty shoreline – yes that will work for sure.’

                For reasons of pure sanity, and the fact that it apparently would take two hours to walk back to our hotel that way, it wasn’t exactly a preferred option. I digested that, in the mid-afternoon hum of African coastline heat, these temperatures could cause mass dehydration, and thus I began to panic; a startling choice between being dragged into a warehouse by a fake Rayban salesman or suffocating upon a vast sandy shoreline. In a rash decision, I opted for the latter.

                ‘Hey, hey you.’ I heard as we got to the end of the jetty back onto the concrete.

                He was right behind us.

                ‘Look pal,’ I began frankly, ‘we don’t want to come thanks, we’re not going to buy anything as we don’t have any money.’ I thought if I was firm and honest he’d just, well, take his leave.

                ‘You said you would come,’ he replied.

                ‘Nope. Definitely didn’t say that,’ I asserted, and then turned hastily in the direction of the beach.

                We began to walk off, and I thought he’d got the message, but he hustled slowly behind us as though he was trying to disguise himself among the background of sand as we stepped onto the beach. His disguise of black skin on white sand was almost as good as my red shorts against beige cargo.

                I thought that if we walked close to the water’s edge then it would be likely he wouldn’t bother following us.

                I was wrong.

                We got so far down the shoreline (approximately 1000 miles) and looked behind to see him trailing about hundered metres behind. I wondered what his problem was, but then I guessed that with the influx of tourism, and this being a new aspect of life on their island, that they haven’t really developed a good sale’s manner yet. I mean, ‘hey you, come to my warehouse. Meet my mother and buy lots of things.’

                I’m no expert, but as a business model, I feel yours is fundamentally floored.

                I was pleased to note, after taking a whipping from sand rising in the winds, and experiencing a close flirtation with dehydration, and sun burn – all things which I would never recommend to experience – that he was no longer following behind.

                As we plodded on back to the hotel, I found myself wondering what the place was going to do when tourism does really start to expand and develop. It’s one thing being able to walk down a beach and barely see a soul for two hours as sand kicks up and whips your legs as you boil dry on the walk back to a hotel. It’s another completely to be doing that because you were chased by a man who had the sales charm of Jack the Ripper and was wearing more bling than Mr T.

                Sal had more than enough little quirks for a visit, for sure. But apart from that, I can’t really see it being a place that would ever hold its traditions and culture whilst attaining a reputable place as a tourist destination.

                It all felt, if I’m honest, a little bit forced really.

                When I go somewhere, I want to see what the place has to offer, meet a few friendly locals if I can, and feel relaxed. I don’t want to be chased back to my hotel because I didn’t buy a bracelet made of string that I would never wear.

                Sal, for all of its intrigues, felt like a place where the locals would be forced to sit back and watch as a place they call home is destroyed by tourism. I’m not sure that it will work, maybe I’ll be wrong. But as for people like the salesman, I may not be the last person he has to try and convince to go to his warehouse, but for future reference, my friend, I would probably find a better sales technique.